21. Aug, 2016

O'Driscoll-the Unluckiest Man in the World.

   O’Driscoll had long considered himself to be the unluckiest man in the world but at last had become determined to do something about it.

“Sure and oim off to see God and ask what oi have to do to change me luck!”

   So with no more ado, he set off and he walked for a day and a week and a month and a year until he came to a wide, straight stretch of road. It was deserted except for a lone wolf. And what a wolf!
It looked totally exhausted and was so thin O’Driscoll could count its ribs one by one. It must have been the thinnest wolf on earth.
“Hello dare Mr. Wolf. Me name’s O’Driscoll and oim off ter look fer God to find what oi must do ter change me luck!”
The wolf looked at him with hope. “O’Driscoll”, it said, “If you find God, can you ask something for me?”
“Of course,” he promised, “What is it?”
“Well,” said the wolf, “Will you ask what I have to do to stop being so thin?”
“Sure and oi will,” and off went O’Driscoll.

   And he walked for a day and a week and a month and a year until he came to a forest and in the middle of that forest he came upon the most badly twisted tree on earth.
“Hello dare Mr. Tree. Me name’s O’Driscoll and oim off ter look fer God to find what oi must do ter change me luck!”
The tree looked at him with hope. “O’Driscoll”, it said, “If you find God, can you ask something for me?”
“Of course,” he promised, “What is it?”
“Well,” said the tree, “Will you ask what I have to do to stop being so twisted and deformed?”
“Sure and oi will,” and off went O’Driscoll.

   And he walked for a day and a week and a month and a year until he came upon a beautiful valley. In the middle was a farmhouse surrounded by lush green pasture, fields of golden corn and fat, well fed livestock. O’Driscoll followed a gently flowing stream to the house where he knocked on the door.
It was answered by surely the most beautiful girl on earth.
“Hello dare Miss. Me name’s O’Driscoll and oim off ter look fer God to find what oi must do ter change me luck!”
The girl looked at him with hope. “O’Driscoll”, she said, “If you find God, can you ask something for me?”
“Of course,” he promised, “What is it?”
“Well,” said the girl, “Will you ask what I have to do to stop being so lonely?”
“ “Sure and oi will,” and off went O’Driscoll.

   And he walked for a day and a week and a month and a year until he came to the very edge of the world. And there above him sitting on a cloud was God. It gave O’Driscoll a surprise when he looked at God and found she was black.
“Hey dare, O’Driscoll man, what you looking for? God asked.
“Well you see, God, I want you to tell me what I must do to change me luck!”
“Dat’s easy,” said the Almighty, “It lay all round you. All you gotta do is look for it!”
“Thank you God, Thank you so much.” So delighted was O’Driscoll, he started to make off, only to be recalled by a voice from the cloud.
“Ain’t there three other things you need to know?” He had forgotten the girl, the tree and the wolf! God whispered in his ear, re-routed her cloud and was gone to the sound of Bob Marley. A joyful O’Driscoll was left to retrace his journey.

   And he walked for a day and a week and a month and a year until he had returned to the green valley. A he approached the house he saw the door open, the girl come out and start to wave.
She welcomed him in, made him comfortable while she finished preparing quite the best meal O’Driscoll was ever to eat. All the while the girl listened with great patience while he ran on about his luck laying all around him and all he was needing to do was to look for it. At last she spoke and shyly asked what advice God had sent for her on how to end her loneliness.
“Dat’s easy. All you need to do is find yourself a husband!”
“Well,” the girl replied, “how about you marrying me yourself, O’Driscoll? I think you will admit that I am good looking with a neat figure and I dress well. You have found how well I can cook and this farm is mine. Everything out there belongs to me… this house, pasture, arable, livestock and on our marriage it will all be yours!”
“I would like to,” replied O’Driscoll, “but I can’t stay…Ihave to go to look for me luck!”

   With that off he went and he walked for a day and a week and a month and a year until he came to the forest and the twisted tree.
“Hello there Mr.Tree.” began O’Driscoll, “ I saw God and would you believe it but my luck lays around me and all I have to do is look for it!”
“That’s great news,” replied the tree, when at last it had time to butt in, “but did you find out what I must do to grow up straight and tall?
“Dat’s easy” replied O’Driscoll, “ There is an old chest buried between your roots and it is that that causes you to be so deformed.”
“Thank you so much,” smiled the tree, “There is an old shovel over there and can I ask you to remove the chest for me?
O’Driscoll did as bidden and after a quick dig, pulled up the old chest. He broke the lock with his shovel and pulled up the lid to reveal its contents… gold and silver coins, and every precious stone known to man!
“Take them all as a mark of my gratitude,” said the tree, as it straightened its trunk and with a huge sigh of relief stretched its supple branches to the sky. “just fix the lock and carry away everything on your back.”
“Sure and I’d like to,” said O’Driscoll, “but it would only slow me down . I must go and look for me luck!”  And with that, off he went, leaving the old chest with its contents behind him.

   And he walked for a day and a week and a month and a year until he came to a certain straight, wide road upon which sat a certain painfully thin wolf.“Hello dare Mr Wolf,” began O’Driscoll, “Oi saw God and found my luck is all around me. Oi’ve just got to look for it!” And so he chuntered on until while pausing for breath, the wolf asked what he had to do to cease being so thin.

“Sure and that’s easy,” said O’Driscoll, “all you have to do is eat the first stupid man you meet!”

…SO THE WOLF DID!